The Pleasure of Doing Nothing

Two years ago when I got my first job right off college, I remember telling my boss during a company standard regular one-on-one expectations discussion that I did not want to be not doing anything. I said I'd find being idle at work boring (and I still feel that way), and I told him that I did not want to be treated like a "new" hire. If there was going to be some form of initiation for juniors, I was basically telling him to go ahead and not take it easy on me. And I was not doing that to impress him. I seriously just do not like being useless. I guess it was the drive speaking being fresh from college and all, and finding my first official work exciting but what I know now is that I was eager to put my name to the test. Right at this moment, I still feel that way.

Green Bean, Greensboro, NC

See, I think I work hard and that's a personal need. There is a level of self-fulfillment when I get used up. I get tired and somehow that's a pleasing feeling. And I have never really given thought as to why I am that way other than realizing, or more like accepting, that this is just who I am. I am also aware that people can perceive that differently, just like a piece of news. Depending on what people know, or what they think they know, and what their experiences are, a piece of news can mean anything. I have talked with people who disagree with this attitude. I have heard people maneuver contrasting cliché about work and living life to the fullest to basically just tell me that there is a whole big world of fun out there that I'm missing out. What these people don't understand is that happiness, regardless of shape and form, is happiness. It is a non tangible scientific thing. It is personal yet universal. Personal in the sense that I get to define what makes me happy, sometimes not even by choice but by experience. Universal in the sense that happiness is not isolated only to people who own a 500-acre back yard. There is no "standard". It is measurable, yes, but only by the person experiencing it. It is not or should not be comparable. It is an experience. And when people experience something over and over, it also then becomes skill.

The other reason why I like to work hard is because it heightens my senses for the opposite - for when I'm not doing anything. When you're thirsty and you don't have access to anything to drink, by the time you finally do, it's rewarding. Drinking which is nothing extraordinary, suddenly becomes an experience you recognize and want. A simple can of Diet Coke, which you probably had over and over before, somehow just tastes better! Suddenly it's not just the soda that you can get for a dollar in a machine. It's the elixir of life! You instantly appreciate the way the cold can feels in your hand, the popping sound when you open. It tastes sweeter, and better, and you get to experience it all over again. Diet Coke, or at lest how you experience it, has been redefined all because you were momentarily deprived of it.

Downtown Greensboro, NC

 The purpose of this post is not to prove to "those people" that I'm missing out on anything. I'm not gonna say that I spend (or used to spend) my entire weekend wakeboarding, and then I got a concussion mastering the kicker, and then weeks later I passed out after hitting my head on the water by trying another trick (people with a brain injury shouldn't be doing sports for while unless they have a death wish), and then drowned (water was getting through my mouth and to my lungs), and basically would have died, had my friend not seen me floating head submerged five or ten minutes later. Oh Well, I think I just did. The point really is: happiness is personal. Some people seem to think that's present outside work, at least I think that's how some people see it. I on the other hand, just seem to find it both at work, and when I'm doing an extreme sport, or just when I'm just sipping macchiato in a coffee shop somewhere. The art of finding happiness in the sunset creeping in through your window sounds gay but it is happiness. Happiness is personal and I think we should just respect how people experience it differently.